De Facto Leaders

We don’t want to be “helicopter parents” who coddle our kids…but we don’t want to be so militant that we traumatize them either.  When it comes getting kids to do essential, but non-preferred tasks that ultimately help them thrive in the long run…the key to finding the right balance is learning how to scaffold.  The term “scaffolding” is used to describe the foundation of a building, but it's also used to describe how teachers, therapists, and parents can teach kids challenging skills over time. Ideally, we are providing JUST enough support that kids are challenged, but not so much support that they never progress.  This can be applied to basic independent skills like making meals, basic hygiene, managing a schedule and deadlines (for homework and other things), among other things that are necessary life skills we want kids to be able to do.  That’s why in this week’s episode, I share the second half of my conversation with my friend and colleague, Brittany Bohach, a neurodivergent speech-language pathologist.  In this conversation, we share a number of tangible examples of scaffolding in the school settings-both in preschool and through elementary and secondary school.  Specifically, Brittany shares why something as simple as snack  or lunch time can be difficult for a child in the preschool setting, and how to work through this situation in a way that has the child’s best interest in mind.  We also discuss another scenario that involved scaffolding from elementary school all the way through high school, and how a student was able to manage challenging sensory needs and develop communication skills in the process.  If you’re a therapist, parent, or teacher who wants to support kids in a neurodiversity affirming, healthy way (that also builds resilience), you’re going to love this episode.  To connect with Brittany Bohach, check out her private practice, Satellite Pediatric Therapy Services on Instagram at  @satellitepediatrictherapy.  Additionally, we mentioned the work of Dr. Ross Greene on this episode, which you can learn more about here.  Finally, I also mentioned the Time Tracking Journal, my resource for parents and therapists who want to help kids build executive functioning skills during common non-preferred or challenging daily tasks (e.g., chores, homework). The Time Tracking Journal gives you a set of strategies to help kids complete daily routines independently by giving them the problem-solving skills they need to plan their day strategically. You can learn more about the Time Tracking Journal here. The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.